There were many things that I loved and enjoyed about Sonia Choquette’s seminar “The Answer Is Simple” yet the most profound and moving experience came to me almost at the very end.  And it came in the form of a song.

Mark Stanton Welch began playing the tune on his guitar and Sonia encouraged us to join in the song only when we felt moved.  The words began rolling in one after another.

“Heart beat.

Angels all around me…”

The words felt so right, so soothing, so loving.  I could not wait for Mark to finish going through all lines so I can join. 

The music that accompanied the words felt magical.

As I began singing I remembered how much I loved singing as a little girl.  I remembered how I used to come home from school when I was in first grade always whistling, always humming a tune.  My mom lovingly tells me how she could always hear from afar that I was coming home.  I even sang in an award-winning choir for a short period of time.  And then somehow I lost my song.  I lost my voice.

Everyone around in the room me was singing full heartedly. 

I thought how uncomfortable I get now if I have to sing with people listening to me.  I feel they are judging me and I blunder through the song knowing that I am singing off key.  I don’t even try.  I prefer to quickly end the misery of being in the spotlight and feeling judged.

The beautiful song continued flowing.  I wondered how could it be that I get so scared to sing.  I sing in a choir and even compose music on the other side.  I have seen it.  I have experienced the exhilarating majesty of the divine voices.  I am one of them.  And yet here on earth…

I continued to sign the words of Mark’s song.  All of a sudden something happened – I felt the music!  I felt the song with my whole being!  I felt that I was singing right!

The more I continued to sing the more the joy I felt increased.  There was not an ounce of resistance, of fear in me.  I was singing with my whole being.  I began playing with my voice. I was making loops and circles, feeling free. The ecstasy of signing was so intoxicating that I instinctively lifted my head up as if singing to God.

Tears welled up in my eyes.  What was happening to me felt life-changing.  I felt that I could sing forever.

As our voices quieted down we began to bring the song in.  I though that I no longer want to deprive myself of the joy of singing.  I no longer want to hide behind the poor excuse that I sing off key.  I sang Mark’s song beautifully. So I really have it in me.

That night I told my sweetheart about the amazing experience I had.  He is blessed with a beautiful singing voice and I love it when he sings to me.  I asked for his support in bringing singing back into my life.  I asked him to remind me to feel the songs I sing every time he hears me singing off key.  And I silently promised myself that I will sing more and remember to feel the joy of singing.   

What was your favorite moment from Sonia’s seminar or from your time at Kripalu?

 

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